I hail from Singapore and am pursuing a Social Work Bachelor’s Degree at Singapore University of Social Sciences.
I developed a sudden love for writing when I was in secondary school, though I have never been good at it when I was younger. I was so envious of good writers (still am), specifically in my class (because good compositions were photocopied and shared with the class) and I tried very hard to emulate their work but didn’t do it properly so my work often turned out very unnatural. But, Alhamdulillah, I’m better at it now.
I like that I am able to put my thoughts into words because I am not very good at verbally expressing my feelings. Writing about my feelings helps overcome what emotionally upsets me, and often leave me feeling freer, lighter and happier. Ultimately, this blog aims to share my feelings, thoughts and opinions. My posts are often kept very raw, unfiltered and personal, because that’s how I like it – those are the kind of writings I love to read because it makes me feel connected to the person, because I know for a fact that our life aren’t all sunshine and rainbows. We are not perfect – we get angry, we feel sad, we make mistakes. That’s the truth of life. No matter how perfect someone’s life seems, everyone is fighting their own battles.
In line with my admiration for personal writings, I’ll share some prominent facts about myself to make our engagement more personal.
Fact 1: I’m an introvert and I’m shy.
Being around a crowd makes me uncomfortable. So do loud people. I seek solace in being at home where I’m most comfortable, which partly explains why I’m at home most of the time. Interestingly, my defense mechanism when I feel exceptionally unsettled in the presence of a crowd is to sport an annoyed/ furrowed-brows appearance. Although I do have a resting b face (I frown a lot – yikes! – albeit involuntarily), in cases where I feel like people are looking, I frown intentionally to protect myself from the feelings of anxiety.
Fact 2: I am very, very expressive.
It is apparent when I am happy, angry, annoyed or excited. I find it hard to control my behavioural response, particularly my facial expression.
Fact 3: I talk to myself. A lot.
My brother calls me crazy, but it is really just me verbalising my thoughts. Because it has become a habit, I sometimes forget and mumble to myself in public. I’m weird.
Fact 4: My alma maters are Dunman Secondary and Temasek Polytechnic.
I am more of a language person than science (in fact, I hate science and have hated science since primary school), except for Math. I studied Psychology in TP. I did not do very well (did not meet my expectations) and I am not proud the amount of effort I put in (particularly in semester 1.2) in comparison to the expectations I had set for myself. Nonetheless, Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal because as much as I had hoped to enter one of the three prestigious unis in Singapore, I will always (always) end up where I am supposed to be because Allah is the best of Planners. For that, I am grateful. And although Psychology was difficult, I enjoyed it very much. It taught me so much (knowledge that proved to be beneficial for my field of interest and several core university modules) and I am absolutely grateful for the experience.
Fact 5: Children have a special place in my heart.
I am a firm advocate for early childhood development because childhood is a significant period of a human’s life. When I studied Psychology of Criminal Behaviour in poly, I learned that many criminals had an exceptionally tough childhood, neglected of proper care and love and exposed to brutal circumstances that no child should have to experience (in an ideal world). Environment plays a tremendous role in an individual’s development (approximated 3:7 genes to environment ratio), which explains the importance of ensuring every child get the best possible care in a conducive and encouraging environment. I think it’s incredibly tragic when children become victims of circumstance and end up becoming entangled in a vicious life cycle. This is also why I desire to work in the social service sector, working especially with children (and their families), to help break the vicious cycle. I feel like this might be my purpose in this world (with Allah’s grace). May Allah guide me and ease my journey, amiin.
Fact 6: I love to sing
I really do, but have always been too shy to sing in front of people I’m not familiar with. My singing voice is very precious to me; I don’t just let anyone listen to me sing, so if I do, you are special. Sad story: Once, I sent someone who I felt was someone special an audio recording of me singing and I regret it so much – firstly because I compromised my values (of not letting a male listen to me sing) because of a person I liked and secondly, because that person turned out not to be someone special in my life. That was the only time I ever let a boy (man? I guess I’ll never know) listen to me sing. I hope it never happens again. InsyaaAllah.
That’s all!! I hope you enjoy reading my posts as much as I enjoy writing them.